Thing I Never Knew I'd have to Say

Typical Wednesday afternoon, just before 5 p.m.  I was on the phone with my best bud from college days past while attempting to get dinner started.  Ray and Rob were scampering in and out of the house as they had yet another Star Wars battle.  Sam had fallen asleep.  As the lightsaber duo moved from living room to kitchen to mud room toward the garage, I paused my conversation with Joanna long enough to tell the boys, "Hey, boys.  In or out, but not the garage.  I don't want you to wake your brother up."

As I returned to the phone to ask Jo what else was new, she could help but chuckle.  The realization of what I had said hit me.  I had just my told my children to be quiet in the garage because their brother was asleep and yes, he was buckled blissfully into his car seat as he snoozed.  I'm sure a better less experienced mother would have risked bringing him in the house so he more comfortably slumber in his bed, but he was already sleeping and there was dinner to make and a friend to chat with.  I wasn't willing to take any chances.  I've learned there's a lot of truth in the old proverb, "Let sleeping babies lie."  Or in this case, sit safely strapped into his 5-point harness system.

I joined her in having a good laugh and chalked that one up to things I never knew I'd have to say when I became a mother.  Add it to the list with:
"If you eat more meat, I'll give you another carrot."
"If your baby brother is attacking you, PUSH him off!  Don't just sit there and let him attack you!"
"Yes, I know there is not a toilet outside, but if you are outside and you need to pee, you CAN come in the house and do it."
"Fine.  If it's an emergency, pee BEHIND the tree,  BEHIND so cars on the road don't see you."
"No, you don't poop outside.  No.  Not even if it's an emergency."

"Don't bite the dog."

"Don't hammer the dog."

"Don't light saber the dog."

"Don't use ANY weapons on the dog.  He doesn't have any so it's not a fair fight."

"The dog is NOT a bear.  Please don't hunt him."

"I know Jaxson LOOKS like Aslan the lion, but he doesn't need a shield for the battle.  Besides, I doubt Aslan had a shield either."

"The dog is NOT a horse, he is a dog, get off of him."  (Really, poor Jaxson!)

I'm sure there are a a good deal more quotes of things I've said as a mother that sound quite humorous taken out of context, often even IN context and I'm sure there are a great deal more to come, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  If nothing else, my boys keep me on my toes and keep life interesting!