Why I Try To Say Yes

When kids are little, they often want to do whatever Mom does. We moms must have a real nack for making the mundane look exciting! Sometimes all that "help" can be overwhelming and it's tempting to just do things yourself. But taking a little extra time now to let little ones help can pay big dividends later because they will learn the skills and they are more likely to be willing helpers later if they have been allowed and praised for helping. That's why tonight I let my well meaning 11 year old male dinner tonight (even if it may have been faster to do it myself).  I also let my 2 and 6 year olds "clean"the floors. I will thank myself someday when dinner is on the table and my floors are clean. And even if that dream never becomes a reality, maybe a future spouse can harvest these seeds.

Play as Worship?

Sit down, behave.  Can't you just be quiet and listen?  You are embarrassing me.

Let's be honest.  Anyone who has taken children to worship and said things like this, or at the very least thought them.  When I leave worship, I want to feel fed for the week ahead.  Refreshed, renewed.  However, worshipping with children often drains me more.  It's hard work.  When my boys were young, I had thought it would get better as they became school age.  On some Sundays, it is better.  On other Sundays, it's more difficult.

Let's face it, worshipping with children is tough.  It's hard work.  We often wonder if it's worth the effort.  Maybe we should just stay home.  After all, we could just worship on they days that the children can conveniently be carted off to Sunday School.  The attempt to worship in the midst of a fear that your child will rip the pages in the hymnal, ask an inappropriate question too loudly, make you appear like a poor parent, drop a toy into the pew in front of you, laugh/scream/cry during a moment of silence can feel like it isn't worth the effort.

IT IS!!!

In the middle of a Holden Evening prayer service one evening, I was becoming very frustrated with my then 7 and 10 year old boys.  I could understand the 5 and almost 2 year old playing and lack of participation, but surely the two older boys were capable of more.  Yes, we were in an informal setting, yes it was a family style event, but come on boys!  Get out from under the chairs, and quite playing with the battery operated tealight candles.  My frustration and annoyance was peaking and I bent low to tell them to get off the floor and worship with us when I saw what they had been doing. They had taken the extra battery operated tea lights under the chairs and with them built an illuminated cross.  They had huge smiles of accomplishment and asked if I liked their cross.  Later, the 7 year old told me that they built a cross with candles because Jesus is light.

Years before that, one year around Easter, I was shocked when I walked into the playroom to find my then 3 year old pushing over my then 6 month old from a sitting position to the floor.  The baby, popped back up, the 3 year old threw his hands in the air and yelled, "He has risen!  Alleluia!"  and they both exploded into a fit of giggles.  They played "the resurrection game" over, and over, and over that spring.

Let's not forget the times that each of my boys has "baptized" himself or a brother in the bathtub.

What had looked to me like play was them worshipping.  Did their worship look the same as mine?  No, but should it?  The teacher with a master's degree in education knows how important developmentally appropriate learning, not to mention the immense need that children have for hands-on, concrete learning opportunities before they can move to abstract concepts.  The early childhood educator in me is well aware that many children learn best through play and movement.

So why is it that I KNOW all these things and even applied them into my years of experience as a teacher, but fall short when giving my children worship opportunities.  In the last year and half, I have left classroom teaching and now serve as the Director of Faith Formation at our family's church.  This has made me more mindful of trying to provide my children with authentic, age appropriate worship experiences like our family summer worship experience planned with the kids where offering included them choosing a toy to donate, a message delivered by a 9 year old, and where the body and blood of Christ was served to all, including the dogs, in the form of saltine crackers and grape Kool-Aid.  There is no doubt in mind the Jesus was there in our backyard that Sunday morning as much as He was in any sanctuary space.  My children enjoyed our non-traditional yet traditional worship service immensely and look forward to making it a summer tradition.

While our backyard worship was an awe-spiring experience for our family (and Wookie and Ewok, our family dogs), how feasible is it to bring this type of experience to the whole congregation?  If we leave it to parents, how equipped do they feel to plan and lead this type of service themselves?

I can plan and lead the best Sunday School units in the world, the most engaging VBS experience ever and still fall short to give the families I serve what they thirst for. Authentic, engaging, worship opportunities for the family to experience together.  A common experience they could talk about together beyond Sunday morning.  A tool that helps them take their faith beyond Sunday morning, into the rest of their week.  As amazing as that sounds, how on God's great Earth is that ever going to happen?

When I first took my idea to the Pastors and worship coordinator at my church, I suspected there was a good chance it would be shut down.  I was elated when it was embraced and I am ecstatic, but nervous, to have our model of worship go live for a trial run this coming January.  After the holiday season, we will be inviting our whole congregation to worship in multi-generation and interactive style.  We have named this maiden voyage of our interactive worship "January Journey with Jesus".  Beginning with the first Sunday in January, we will journey with Jesus from his infancy through His baptism.

What does it mean to have in interactive worship service?  The best way I can think to describe it as as a Sunday School meets worship collision.  We will begin with traditional worship elements, including gathering music, Word and prayer.  When the service gets to the place where a sermon would normally be, people will be invited to choose from a host of stations.  Each week, people will be able to worship and learn in a way that they are drawn to whether it be creating a craft, trying a science experiment, playing a game, participating a Pastor led discussion about the scripture, doing a crossword or reflecting on a series of images projected.  As our activity time draws to a close, we will regather as a community to round out our worship experience with more traditional worship elements including Holy Communion, music and a blessing.

As I mentioned, I am eager, ecstatic and also quite nervous to try this style of worship with our whole congregation.  I am praying that God will help us all to keep open minds while giving us faith like a child so we too can be drawn closer to Him through this process while also inviting the youngest worshippers closer too.

The Art of a Deep Breath

Hi. My name is Billie Jo.  And I may have some OCD tendencies.  (I can hear my mom snort and say "May?" as she reads this.)

Pre-kids, I had it.  I had it bad.  Of course I denied it to myself as I wiped the bathroom counter down every morning.  As child after child has been born, I have had to learn to let more and more things go.  And as those babies grew into toddlers.  I let more.  My bathrooms does not sparkle the same way it use to.  There are dirty dishes in my kitchen sink more than there aren't.  Try as I may, my floors have a little sticky spot or grit more than I care to admit.  And the laundry.  Don't even get me started on the laundry...

Those toddlers have grown into boys and with boys come dirt.  After all, the definition of a boy is a noise with dirt on it.  Part of me knows those boys are old enough to help.  But let's be honest, what 5, 7 or 10 year old boy can clean as well as mom?  They won't do it as well as me.  They might make a bigger mess in the process.  I don't want to fight with them about it.  I could make a laundry list of excuses to not let or make them help, but as I mentioned, I already have PLENTY of laundry to do.

But by not letting them help, who am I serving?  Who am I allowing them to serve?  The list is pretty short and my name seems to be the only one on the list.  When I take the patience, the time, the patience, the energy and the patience to help them help me, I get to serve them now, and in the future. I am serving their future roommates, families and co-workers.  I am serving God by helping shape men who will know how to serve others.  And don't forget, I am serving me in the future!

If I allow it, I can find the me of today being served.  If I can learn to get past the fact that that's not the way I would do it or accept that even if it isn't spotless, it's cleaner than it was, I can find myself being served by my children.

That's why today when Ray was vacuuming the entry way and flipping rugs over to get their undersides and I could hear the dirt skitter across then entry way, I resisted the urge to snatch the hose from him and do it myself.  Instead, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a minute before I turned to him and smiled.  "Thanks for helping Ray."

And in that choice, in that deep breath, I found not only did future me get served, but so did present me.

I Have Something To Tell You

I have a friend who says I should preface every story I tell with, "You know I have 4 boys right?"  There is so much truth to this that I sometimes think I should wear a sticker that reads, "Hello! My name is Mom of 4 boys."  You know for those days where I know I showered SOMETIME this week, my hair is in a ponytail because I don't have time to run a comb through it, I was lucky enough to get deodorant on but the idea of makeup is simply ludicrous and I somehow managed to get dressed in my "good" yoga pants.  And I forgot to mention the snot on my shoulder, something in my hair besides my hair elastic, a questionable smudge on my shirt and bags under my eyes.  Needless to say, I rarely feel attractive and I never feel glamorous.  There are days where I can feel downright repulsive.

It was on one of these such days that I was home with not 1, not 2, but 3 sick kiddos.  I spent a large amount of time rocking a feverish baby, wiping a preschoolers nose and giving neb treatments to a 1st grader.  When the 5 year old started in with, "Mom, Mama, Mommy,"  I took a deep breath and did my best to keep it together.

"Yes, dear?"

"I have something to tell you..."

"And what is that?"

He climbed up on the arm of the chair where I was rocking his baby brother, leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "I just wanted to tell you, (pause), you are beautiful!" 

Sure, the words are sweet, but the squeeze around my neck and ear to ear smile that accompanied it made me believe it.  

You see Moms, you ARE beautiful.  Despite what the mirror, magazines and yourself might say, you ARE beautiful.  And it isn't despite the shower, yoga pants and messy hair.  No, in fact, these very things are part of what make you beautiful because they are part of who you are.  You are Mom, Mama, Mommy. You are the rocker of feverish babies, the wiper of noses, the one who's kiss can heal and soothe better than any medicine.  And to your child, your husband, the grandparents of your children, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.  

I try hard and pray often that God will help me to see and love others the way He does.  Thank you God for using my sniffly 5 year old to help me see a glimpse of myself in that same way.

Privacy???

After a 3rd child barged into bathroom I said, "May I please have 1 minute of privacy to get out of shower?" 

"I'll give you privacy Mama, just pretend I'm not here."

 Gee, thanks Sam.