It's a New Day

It amuses (and annoys) me that I have to remain my older boys daily to tackle care of personal hygiene issues while at the same time Sam seems to be a little overzealous about some aspects. He changes his underwear everytime he gets dressed,including pajamas.

"Sam, why do you need to change your underwear at night? You change them in the morning."

"It's already a new day on the otherside of the world,obviously.so I need new underwear."

Hard to debate with that kind of logic.

And so it Begins

Here is an actual text conversation with 10 year old Ray.

Done
               Be there soon.  Sam is in the bathroom.
Did not need the bathroom part, or the big text.
               Be there as soon as Sam is done wiping his butt, washing his hands and ready to go.  Theo
               already went potty.  I need to go, but I will wait.
               How's that for too much info/big text? ;)
Did not need that, again.

So what is the first thing he says when we pull up?  "What took you so long?!?"  I tried to tell him. Oh, let the embarrassing of the tween begin!  I've been practicing my whole life for this ;)

Thank the Lord, at ALL Times

This morning, while eating breakfast, Sam announced that he need go potty.  "But don't worry!  I already asked the Lord to help me!" he loudly said as he ran for the bathroom.

Upon returning, he told me he thanked the Lord for helping him.

I guess he's taking the at all times thing pretty seriously.

A Hippo in the Bathroom

As the mom of 4 boys, the opportunity to shower in complete peace and quiet is rare.  Very rare.  Like finding a unicorn rare.  Maybe even finding a winged unicorn rare.  This frequently results is some interesting, to say the least, bathroom discussions.

"Toilet paper is for helping your butt to stop pooping, right Mama?" asked Sam as I was finishing my shower yesterday morning.

"Not exactly. You need to finish pooping first and then toilet paper is for cleaning your bottom."

"I did let my butt finish pooping.  It's one big hippo poop.  See him in there?  He's like a Dada hippo poop. Hello Dada Hippo!"

"That's great Sam."

"Now I'm stopping my butt from pooping more," as he continues wiping.

A minute or 2 later, "It didn't work!  I have to go more poopy!" exclaims Sam as he clenches his legs together and has a pained expression on his face.

"Then you should sit down and finish Sam."

"Ahhh!  It was just a baby hippo.  He wanted to be with his Dada."

SAMisms

"My penis says it doesn't have to pee anymore," says Sam after going out of your way to help him find a public restroom before an accident might occur.

"That doesn't suck, that doesn't suck at all!" declares Sam when told Becky was taking him to McDonald's for lunch.

"I wasn't saying I love you, I was saying I'm Spiderman.  Sheew, I just webbed you," Sam told me after I told him I loved him too when he held up the sign language hand shape for me to see in my rearview mirror.

"You can't pee, just poop right?  Cause you don't have a penis," loudly informed Sam to me while in a crowded public restroom.

You are SOOOO Jealous!

Here is a conversation I overheard at bedtime the other night.

"Sam, you need to go in and use the bathroom.  It's time for jammies."

"I don't want to wear jammies, I want to wear my clothes."  (This has been his big kick lately, and frankly, some things aren't worth fighting over."

"Fine, you can wear your clothes to bed, but you still need to go potty and put on a pull up."

"I don't want to."

"Well, you need to.  Come on Sam."

"But Daddy, I don't want to sit down.  I want to stand up."

"Okay then, stand up and go potty."

"Look Daddy, I'm standing up."  Pause.  "You are sooooo jealous right now."

Hmmm, jealous of what I'm not sure, but oh, that kid is funny.